Attack of the Fangirls!
by Pikeru's Angel
Summary: Oh no... The Fangirls got aboard the Enterprise. Don't worry though, no one's gonna die! Probably! You can never know with thoes Fangirls though... Warning! This is a crack!fic! More warnings inside, but that's the main one. Prompt inside!
1. Stage 1: Presents

**Warning! This is a crack!fic! Not fully crack, but there will be plently of cracky goodness! Possibly mild slash, but mostly just slash shippers. Also, mild language spanning from the a-word to the z-word. (Zark, for thoes of you who have never read Hitchhiker's and therefor have no clue what zark means.)**

**A/N: Everything that needs to be said is at the bottom, so let's get on with the show!**

{][][}

_Knock, knock._

"Jim! I need at talk to you!"

Kirk groaned slightly, hitting his head against his desk, barely missing the padd he was suppose to be reading. Bones sounded pissed. He crossed his fingers, silently praying he didn't have a hypo on him. If he did, he was doomed.

"Come in, Bones." McCoy walked in, holding a small package wrapped in blue paper; the same shade of blue as the medical uniforms, oddly enough. On top was a small picture of a hand in the form of the Vulcan salute, the small words "Your biggest fan, Piki" scrawled in the center of the palm. He did his usual scowl-and-glare combo at his Captain.

"It this some kind of joke? And what is Piki, some sort of alias?" Kirk looked up at him innocently, and cluelessly for that matter. He honestly had no clue was the crotchety CMO was talking about.

Bones rolled his eyes, taking a small book out of the wrapping paper covered box. Across the cover were the clear words _101 Relaxation and Anger Management Techniques _along with a small red stress ball. There was also a bottle of Kentucky bourbon with a note that read, in the same scrawl as the original, "Method 102".

The younger man held his hands above his head. "Bones, I swear I had nothing to do with this. Where would I get the bourbon anyway?" McCoy glared.

"You have your ways." He slammed the small book on the table. "Damnit Jim, what the hell is this?"

Suddenly, the comm on the desk beeped.

"Paging Doctor McCoy, please come to Sickbay. Repeat, paging doctor McCoy, please come to Sickbay." Said an annoyingly sweet voice, sounding very much like the perky receptionist who always had too much coffee.

McCoy gave his friend one final glare, grabbing the bottle of bourbon. "I'll deal with you later." He said threateningly, and walked out.

{][][}

Spock was, oddly, tired. He hadn't been sleeping well, or even meditating, and each day seemed to get longer and longer despite the fact that he knew that was impossible. At that moment, he merely wanted to go into his room, and rest.

Those plans would soon be spoiled.

He walked almost blearily to his door, punching in the key code and walking in without a second though. The door shut behind him, closing with a small click that was inaudible to human ears.

He blinked once at the sight he saw.

He blinked again.

"Oh by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way."

"Who did?"

"The White Rabbit."

Alice the wonderland took up the entire right wall, which was completely bare. There didn't seem to be any device that was showing it, but that wasn't what Spock was paying attention to.

He was too busy bolting. After all, how could he do anything with… _that_ playing? He couldn't, simple as that.

He paused when he saw the note just beside the keypad that he'd missed. Five simple words were written in neat cursive on it.

"Ahoy, and other nautical expressions!"

{][][}

Kirk had been gone for five minutes, _five minutes_, and there was now a package on his desk. Warped in twenty-first century newspaper. With a drawn picture oh himself and Spock on top. Kissing. And looking fully ready for what was probably more than a one night stand. He blinked.

He blinked again.

A third time he blinked, just staring at that picture. It was actually rather good. All the details (and he meant _all_) were skillfully drawn, and _there_. It was in color, so he could see a light green tinge on his first officer's cheeks, and a dark red flush on his own. He couldn't help but admire it for a second.

He walked over in three quick strides, taking the sketch and placing it face down on the table before ripping the newspaper off a simple cardboard (_cardboard_ for Heaven's sake!) box. His jaw dropped at the contents.

Condoms.

Whoever it was, they had given him a box of condoms.

His eyes suddenly snapped to the back of the picture, and he wasn't surprised to find something else there.

In letters clearly cut out from the same newspaper that had wrapped the box, there was a simple message. Incredibly simple. Just three words and a signature.

"Have fun tonight! Banbi."

He burst out laughing, and decided to tell Bones that he had his own mystery gift giver later. After he found who had given the gift. He wasn't entirely sure whether he would slap them, or hug them, but he'd figure it out then.

{][][}

It was just sort of there.

Sulu was in the gym on deck five to practice his fencing with Chekov (who was currently getting on his gear), and in the place of his favorite foil and saber, was a book. Not a padd with the book downloaded, but and honest to God hardback book.

At fist he was a little miffed. Who wouldn't be? His two favorite fencing tools were _gone_, and he had no clue where to find them. Well, at least they hadn't messed with the botany lab, whoever they were. At least, he hoped they hadn't messed with the botany lab. Then there would be hell to pay for someone. And no one wanted that.

His second feeling was appreciation. He liked that particular novel. It was his favorite work of fiction, actually. And it was incredibly hard to find old fashioned books like that too. It must have cost a fortune! He promised himself to get whoever it was that got the volume a hand made katana courtesy of his second cousin, who was a master in sword making; a truly beautiful and lost art.

So, with that thought in mind, he walked up to the rack, taking _The three Musketeers_ in his hands carefully, as though it would turn to dust at any moment. It was an incredibly well cared for volume, and he smiled at the thought of how much work it would take to keep it in such "pristine" (as in, not about to tear in your hand at any second) condition through the centuries. At the same time though, it was obviously well loved too. Dog eared over and over, the spine cracked to where you almost couldn't make out the title. He grinned. Hopefully he'd love the book half as much as the previous owner.

Speaking of which…

He opened the volume, the already large grin on his face spreading even wider. There was a signature on the first page. The blank one before you got into author, title, and dedications and all that crud. As soon as he read in though, his eyes widened, and he nearly dropped his new prized possession.

"_Forever yours._

_XOXO Pavel."_

Well… that was just plain awkward. He hadn't known the Russian had felt _that_ way. There was nothing wrong with it, of course, it was just that the Helmsmen didn't swing that way. At all.

"Sulu! Are zou ready to fence? I zink I've gotten better since last time!" A familiar voice called. Sulu whipped around, hiding the book behind his back.

"Actually, and I'm really sorry, but I just remembered something. I kinda need to go to the botany bay. Some of those plants are really high maintenance, ya know?" He laughed nervously. The excuse was weak, even to his ears, but he needed time to process before he could fence with his best friend who apparently had a crush on him. Well, it seemed to be more than a crush if he was willing to spend hundreds of credits on his favorite book.

Chekov tilted his head to one side. "Okay zhen…" He said, disappointment filling his voice. "Ve'll fence later, I guess." And Sulu was gone, book still in hands and his cheeks a bright red. Somewhere in the _Enterprise_, a women in her late twenties was laughing her head off, her dark green eyes shinning with delight. This was going to be fun indeed…

{][][}

Uhura was in her room, just a bit miffed. Spock hadn't been in his quarters when she'd checked. That wasn't the reason she was miffed. The reason was because Spock had promised her a nice night. You know, dinner, cuddling, what their Captain was known for. The whole shebang, basically. And he hadn't been there. Instead she was met by an obviously empty room at the Disney version of Alice in Wonderland playing on the right wall. So yes, she was disappointed and a bit peeved at her _t'hy'la_ at that moment, and would likely bite someone's head off if they disturbed her.

_Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock_. Pause._ knock, knock._

"Delivery!"

The communications officer twitched, standing up and walking over to her door. It opened before she could even get there.

Standing just in front of her door was a teenage girl, probably no older than Chekov. Her dark brown hair was put up, then braided down her back, and her dark brown eyes shone with mischief. She was about five-and-a-half feet with her heeled black boots, and was wearing a customary red uniform. She had also opted for the mini skirt instead of slacks, which Uhura found odd because she seemed more like someone who would fight to the death just so she wouldn't have to wear the skirt, let lone trade them in for pants.

"Yes?" Uhura asked as politely as she could. She really hadn't wanted to be bothered.

"Just a little somethin' for ya Lieutenant." She said, holding out a box. Her voice was loud and proud, and Uhura winced slightly. It was, unfortunately, grating on the headache that had started up about five minutes before. She took the small box from the teens hand.

"Thank you, Cadet…?"

"Oh, my name ain't important. Just open it." She seemed oddly excited for someone who was just doing a drop off.

So Uhura opened the small box, pulling out a wristwatch type object out. Along with it was a small note, written from a typewriter. "A little translation gizmo I made up. Speak into it, loud and clear, and it will translate to the last language it heard. Great for learning languages if you know someone who speaks it!"

She looked at the Cadet oddly, putting on the "translation gizmo". The Cadet seemed incredibly pleased.

"So, shall I tell the sender you liked it?"

"Yeah." Uhura said after a moment's contemplative pause. "Tell them thanks for me." The Cadet nodded eagerly, and began striding off down the hall.

"Hey!" Uhura suddenly called. "Who sent it in the first place?"

The mysterious Cadet turned around, eyes shinning. "She said her name was Sparky." And she was gone.

Uhura blinked, then looked down at her gift. She'd test it out with Spock later.

{][][}

It was the third most beautiful thing Scotty had ever seen, right behind Uhura and the _Enterprise_.

They were just sitting there innocently on his desk, just begging him to play. He couldn't help himself. He picked the bagpipes up off his desk. What did it matter if they were someone else's and they'd accidentally left them there? They were beautiful, they were in fine condition, and he hadn't seen the instrument since he was a kid and his aunt taught him how to play "Amazing Grace". It was the last song he'd ever learned.

He was just about to play the oh-so-lovely instrument when he saw something glittering on the desk, right by where he's found the bagpipe's. He gently places them down on the desk again, snatching the shiny thing off his desk.

It was a card. A very simple card. And excruciatingly simple card, in fact. Four musical notes, one in each corner, with a signature in the center. The signature was what appeared to be a forged version of his own writing using a different name. The name was almost as odd as the card was simple too.

Spockfish.

Whoever had given him the bagpipe's, their name was Spockfish.

Scotty vowed to find them and thank them for the wonderful gift. After he found his kilt, of course.

{][][}

Chekov was disappointed.

First, Sulu had canceled their usual Thursday fencing match, then he couldn't find Scotty, Kirk or McCoy for a game of poker, and now it seemed like Hikaru was just plain avoiding him and he couldn't figure out why to save his _life_! Okay, maybe the poker wasn't bugging him so much, but he and Sulu had partaken in these fencing matched every Thursday for almost a year. Well, he was probably just distracted. Rumors were rumors, but that didn't change the fact that quite a few women on their lovely _Enterprise_ had a thing for their sword master Helmsmen, so the feelings had to be returned with one of them!

So he half walked half did this cute sulky thingy back to his room. He had changed out of his fencing gear, but there were still other things he could have done. He almost felt guilty about not doing his usual thirty minutes on the treadmill, but he really hadn't felt that up to it.

So he walked into his room, stripped down to his boxers (which gave a nice view of his surprisingly well tones abs, I might add) and was just about to go into the bathroom to take a shower when he noticed something was different.

On his desk. There was a new addition. He walked over, one eyebrow quirking in very Spock-like manner. It was red with a black base with the word "Easy" printed on it. He pressed the red button almost warily because, really, what good could come from a _red button_? Not much, in his experience. Self destruct buttons, buttons to make other stuff destruct, all red people!

"That was easy."

Chekov's lips turned upward slightly in a grin, and he pressed the button again.

"That was easy."

Well… not what he expected from a red button, but it was kind of cool. He picked it up, turning it off so he wouldn't drain whatever power source it used in idle time, and went to take his shower.

{][][}

A young girl, probably in her early teens, looked around at the other occupants of Rec. Room 6. Why six? Because, in fan fiction, in was always empty. This seemed to also be true when one was actually on the _Enterprise. _Another score for the writer's, because they unintentionally got yet another this right. Now if only they could find out if Vulcan's ears could perk of if they got drunk on chocolate… but that was Kat's job, if she wanted to. Truthfully, the girl couldn't believe her senior hadn't chosen to give the half-Vulcan chocolate, but she supposed Alice was much more annoying to the Vulcan himself than getting drunk would be.

Now this girl did not look very out of place. She was in the standard blue-ish silver (more blue than anything, but it was still silver and shiny) medical uniform with the short sleeved as well as one of the short skirts and heeled boots. The latter two items annoyed her greatly, but they were the only things she could find in a women's small. Her hazel eyes flashed from one person to the next, not seemed bothered by the way her hair hung over the left half of her face. She had long since accepted that she could never control her brown curls.

Just to her left was the earlier mentioned senior. She was tall and thin, and her body fit into the more ocean blue science uniform perfectly. She too was wearing the skirt due to a lack of slacks in her size, but she had been smart and simply worn black converse that could easily fit in any time period. Her dyed brown hair was in a razor cut, and a seemingly perpetual smirk lit of her (at that moment) yellow eyes.

To her right was another senior. Well, most of the girls there were her senior, actually, but that was beside the point. Anyway, she had red hair which was put up and was in Captain's yellows, which were slightly different from the yellow of the helmsman or navigator uniforms because it turned a sort of green in the right light. She had, despite her petite size, nabbed the final pair of small's in the slacks. Damn her.

Next up was the woman just between Spockfish (who we will get to later) and the grabber of the last pair of slacks. She was around average height, with her brown hair put up in a messy ponytail. She was in the helmsman's yellow, and was also one of the lucks slack finders. Her dark green eye flitted from one person to the next, never pausing even for a second.

Then there was the one right next to the other unfortunate skirt wearer. That was Sparky. She was in the red's of a xenolinguist, and she wore her crooked smile proudly. There was a very good reason their ringleader had chosen her, and it wasn't just because of her fanfic talent. Loud and proud and a mite insane she'd be able to annoy the living hell out of her "victim" in no time flat.

Second to last came another of their ringleader's good friends, as well as her charge. Her blond hair, like many of the other's, was tied back and clashed with her Engineering red uniform. She, too, had been one of the unlucky skirt finders. She, not for the first time, pushed her thick, black rimmed glasses up after they nearly fell off.

Last but not least was the one known (to the ringleader, but it was catching on with everyone else) as "Mags", though her actual name had yet to be disclosed. With her short brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, she looked absolutely perfect in the yellow uniform she had found. She was in the slacks, which the ringleader found unfair considering they were close to the same size. She was absently humming something or other, completely distracted from the meeting. Again.

The ringleader in the medical blues cleared her throat. "So…" She paused, looking over everyone at the meeting… area spread apart on various couches and chairs. "Is phase one complete?"

It was Mags who nodded eagerly. "Aye, Piki, we all sent our gifts!"

"And none of you were seen?" Piki asked, trying and failing to raise one eyebrow, instead raising both.

"Negative," the redhead in the Captain's yellows said. "I believe that all of us were seen by members of the crew.

Spockfish rolled her eyes. "She meant have we been seen by our charges. Duuuhhh." She dragged out the final word, as though thoroughly roughly expressing her point.

Sparky awkwardly twiddled her thumbs. "Maybe I saw mine. Just for a sec." Piki facepalmed, as did several other's.

"Sparky, what did I tell you? Leave it at the door, knock, and pretend your ding-dong-ditching the Captain for giggles, no offence Banbi." The redhead shrugged.

"None taken. I'm torturing him, remember?"

Sparky sunk into her seat. "I couldn't resist! Besides, it's not like she knew who I was!" The second skirt wearer with the razor cut gave a mildly disapproving look to the younger girl.

"Which brings me to the next question which Pikeru forgot to mention, likely because she did it herself. How many of you signed a card or some other little thing to your "charge"?" Four hands went up, including her own. The only ones that seemed not guilty were Anda, Sparky and Mags, though Sparky half raised her hand.

"I said the person who sent the linguist device was named Sparky, so it kinda counts."

Anda and Mags shared a brief look.

"I signed mine from Chekov." Anda said evenly, not saying what she had said exactly.

"I didn't sign anything at all." Mags said, as if to beat her. Of course they were trying to one-up each other; they were on Sulu and Chekov. Two halves to a wicked friendship. They were trying to see who was better.

Piki clapped suddenly, letting out her evil laugh (which would have much better suited someone like Nero, actually). "Excellent! Stage 1, complete girls! Let's head off to our "rooms". We'll start on stage two in the morning. Kat, your with Banbi. Sparky, your with Anda and Spockfish. Mags, your with me. We have plotting to do!" She laughed again, this time normally with only a hint of evil in it, was walked off. The other's followed, and soon they were all in rooms 612 through 615, scheming for phase two.

{][][}

**A/N: Woot! Longest first chapter ever! Actually, longest chapter ever period. Six pages people! That's a new record for me! :DDD**

**Anyways, I'd like to thanks my girls who volunteered to be in this fic: Spontanetiy, Banbi-V, GothicChesire, Sparky Dorian, Andalusia25, and Super Ultra Sexy Spockfish. Not in that order mind you, but still. YOU GUYS ROCK! Thank you for wanting to joing the crack-ish, crazy fun! :B You guys can now officaly use this smiley. No, seriously, go ahead. It may be mind, but now it's ours. You deserve it! ;)**

**So, yeah. I hope everyone enjoyesd this. It might take a while to finish, but as long and Steve and Minnie decide to keep helping me on this one and not get distracted by the pretty plot bunnies (well, that's more Steve, but Minnie can't do it on her own) we're good!**

**So, yeah. Reviews welcome. Constructive crit welcome. Flames welcome. Everything's welcome!**

**~Piki :B**


	2. Deleted Scene: I Don't Wanna Know

**A/N: This goes out to Spockfish, who I know really wanted McCoy, then Chapel, but got Scotty. Sorry dude, but you still got your wish in the end, right?**

**Also, I've got a little prompt that needs answering. ;) It's been bugging me, I can't write it, and I figured someone would enjoy it. Well, a lot of someone's.**

**Prompt: Scotty was stuck on Delta Vega for six months with no one on that rock with him but Keenser, who was neither female nor even human. That's gotta be hard on a guy. After the Narada Crisis is taken care of, Scotty can't help but be a bit of a player... Interpret however. Fully welcoming Scotty/Uhura. Crack is always fun! :D**

**On with the deleted scene that is shorter than the A/N!**

* * *

Christine Chapel was a hardworking woman, taking brakes only when she could or when it was absolutely necessary for her mental well being and sanity, so when she got to Rec. Room 4 on a slow day, she was fully prepared to take the shelf of old DVD's and watch one of the older TV series they had stocked up, courtesy of Scotty and his massive collection now made public.

She was surprised to find one in the H section, wrapped up, with her name on the side.

She carefully took off the wrapping paper, tearing it by the tape. She raised an eyebrow at the new series.

House M.D., seasons three and four.

And on the front was a small note as well. Christine took the season three DVD, sticking it in the DVD player as she read.

_Wanted to give this to McCoy, but he was taken. Figured you'd like it. Signed, Spockfish. P.s. Don't tell Pikeru about this; I was only suppose to give something to Scotty. ;)_

Chapel raised an eyebrow, turning on the episode "Finding Judas", and decided it was better not to think about it.


	3. Half Stage: Plotting and Pets

**A/N: Haha! Another new chaoter! Eat THAT writer's block!**

**Just a warning; bit more swearing in this one. Not much, so the kiddies don't really have to worry.**

{][][}

Mags was getting bored, and maybe just a little annoyed.

Piki had told her as soon as they entered that she was going to be plotting. She had also implied that most of the details (she never gave away the whole plan) would be released once she was done.

That was an hour ago. Her plan to get on the ship -which was likely much more complex than whatever she was coming up with- had taken roughly twenty minutes.

And yet, she was still there, on the bed, tossing her comm. unit up and catching it like it was a tennis ball with her i-Pod stuck on full blast. Mags wondered if she would ever be done.

"Yes. Just need to go through everything." Piki muttered, sitting up and taking a ear bud out. "You know when Uhura takes her lunch break? Same info for Scotty." Mags had the sudden urge to facepalm. It was to each her own to finding out schedules, and Scotty and Uhura weren't even theirs! Wasn't there some code of honor against stealing another persons charge?

The Medical girl sighed heavily when there was no response. "Fine, I'll do it." A pause as she grabbed a (admittedly stolen) padd. "Remind me to tell everyone their aliases tomorrow. Oh, and yours is Margret Navii. It sounds weird, but they were all off the top of my head. Off the top of my head, Navii sounded cool."

Mags shrugged. "At least you didn't go for something Japanese. Again."

Piki glared. "Mitsuki Takamini was one of my best, thank you! You should have seen the work I put in the appearance of that one…" And she got into her padd, completely ignoring her roomy again.

The older girl rolled her eyes, grabbing her own padd off a bedside table. Might as well do some research on her charge while she had the chance. To annoy someone you have to know what makes them tick, after all.

She was about a quarter way through with no new information when Piki stopped, putting the padd down with an evil grin on her face. A deep, throaty chuckle filled the air, and Mags looked up with mild interest.

"Plan?"

"Alright, Scotty and Uhura take their lunch break, on average, at the same time. I need you to distract Uhura long enough so I can make sure Scotty gets in the lift. I'll tell you when via comm. and make something up for you to have to go, that way she'll get on the lift with Scotty. Tell me if there's anyone else on though, or else this could be ruined.

"From there I'll get into Scotty's office, change up the pass code, and lock them in. I'll need you to change out comm.'s in advance to where we can get their signals in that lift specifically, for bugging purposes, obviously. You'll be manning the cameras, which I believe you can get into from the screens at Uhura's station. Once they do what we want, we release them. Sound good?" Mags raised an eyebrow.

"You seem to be forgetting something."

"Yes?"

"How to we lock them in the lift?"

"Remember how I got us on this ship in the first place?"

"Hacking, hacking, and more hacking." Mags said, wondering where this was going.

"Just like that. Starfleet is protected, but incredibly easy to get into if you know your stuff. Scotty will be a challenge though, but I'll do it."

Mags ignored her companions shit eating grin. "How do you know?"

"Honestly? No clue. I just know I work well under pressure and we have a small window of opportunity,"

Mags raised an eyebrow. "When do we start?" She said with a grin.

"One twenty-two exactly. I'll take the lift to the second greatest place on the _Enterprise_, you take the next lift to the third."

"What's the first greatest place on the _Enterprise_ then?" She wondered curiously.

Piki smiled, tossing her comm. on the elder girls bed. "Why Sickbay of course."

Mags rolled her eyes and brought up a diagram of a comm. unit on her padd.

{][][}

"How do we split them up?"

Kat and Banbi had long since gotten settled into their rooms, both in Starfleet issue pajamas and playing on their padd's. Kat's words were said into complete silence, and it was more like she was musing aloud than actually asking the question.

"I don't know." Banbi replied distractedly, still trying to find a perfectly accurate diagram of the entire ship. So far she was having very little luck, and was considering asking Piki or another of the talented hackers or techs in their little group to "find" one in Scotty's office. Or their plain and simple little thief, who had gotten them the padd's they were now using. She wasn't quite sure who would be best.

"Well we have to figure something out. For your plans or Spirk or Spork or whatever you wanna call it to work, we need to get Spock and Uhura broken up." She exaggerated her point with (rather point_less_) hand gestures, moving them this way and that.

"I just say K/S." Banbi replied, seeming to ignore every other bit of the mini-rant.

"Beside the point. How do we break them up?"

"I thought they already had."

"Nope. Still goin' strong."

Banbi sighed slightly, checking the clock on the padd. It was still relatively early, and other than plot, there really wasn't much to do. And plotting wasn't much fun when you didn't know _what to do_.

Kat huffed silently. "Damn."

Banbi gave her a thoughtful look. "We could make Spock think Uhura was cheating on him. Vulcan values and all that."

Her trademark Cheshire Cat grin spread across cat's face. "And Mags and Piki are sure to help us with that. They _are_ the Scota shippers, after all."

"Not just Scota shippers. _Insane_ Scota shippers." Banbi said pointedly.

"Listen in, see what their planning, and set up cameras without the sound?"

"Oh yeah." Banbi said, already taking out her comm.

"_Which lift again?"_ That was Mags. The two Spock/Uhura haters leaned over the comm. carefully, hardly breathing. Both wondered if they would be heard, silently agreeing not to take the chance.

"_Only one that leads to the Bridge. Duh_." Piki, obviously. Made since she'd take charge of the plotting. She was good at it, after all.

"_What are we gonna make 'um do anyway? You never said_." Kat leaned in a bit more, not wanting to miss a single word. It was their window of opportunity to make Spuhura (as it was so commonly called) to die a horrible, fiery death. Or at least die. Yes, death would be very good.

"_Scotty and Uhura tapped in the lift, k-i-s-s-i-n-g._" Banbi winced at the off tone and off beat-ness of the way Piki said it, but Kat merely grinned.

"This is going to be fun.." She muttered, going back to her own bed.

{][][}

"Serendipity!"

Anda and Spockfish looked over at their roommate. She was, quite possibly, the second (well, tied for second with Mags, but it still counted) most insane person in their group, topped only by their leader. Who else would combine White Collar and Trek, after all? Most certainly not a sane person. Obviously they'd both been mildly worried.. Especially considering they were numbers three and five on the group insane scale. That much insanity was never good all in one place, though occasionally amusing. No outsider's, anyway.

"Why the serendipity?" Asked Spockfish. She was, of course, the three on the insane scale. Which, out of seven with two tied for two, was pretty good. Or pretty bad, depending on your perspective.

"Oh, no reason." She grinned madly, and Anda subconsciously took a half step back. You know, like what you do when your about to make something explode, or activate a robot you _know_ is deadly, even when your really far away. It was just that kind of grin. "Findin' out what Piki's planning'. That girl really needs to not write things down on that padd you took for 'er, Spocky!" Spockfish blinked from behind her thick glasses. She was moderately sure she'd never been called "Spocky" before, though it did sound kind of cool.

"Oh look! Aliases for us! How sweet of her to think of that. Probably put us in as part of the crew…" She laughed, clapping her hands together, and Anda wondered to the bathroom to change despite the fact she was almost ten years older than the eldest teen in the room.

"'Elizabeth Haversham'." She paused, a mock-contemplative look crossing her face. "Has a nice ring to it. Suits my love of White Collar. Would have preferred that it started with a D though. Diana sounds kinda close to Dante, right?" She looked at Spockfish for her opinion, but the younger girl merely blinked again, sitting down at her bed. A little white mouse scurried past them, trying to find a way out of the room, but neither noticed.

Finally, Spockfish answered. "Yeah, it does, but your in the computers as Elizabeth now." She shrugged. "What's mine?"

"Uhhh… Oh, here it is. Right under Kat's. Nellie Reef." She paused. "N for Nyota. Fishes live in coral reefs. Clever."

"What's Anda's?" Because, really, she only cared about the aliases of the people in that room. "Addison DiNozzo." She cocked her head to one side. "Why DiNozzo?"

"Because I like NCIS!" Anda called from bathroom, walking out in a pair grey sweats and t-shirt. She looked down as she felt a slight weight land on her foot. "Who let the rat it?"

Spockfish looked down at the almost pure white lab rat with the brown spot on his left eye that had decided to make Anda's foot his bed. Sparky laughed to herself quietly, pulling up what Piki was planning on doing the next day.

The rat looked up from his lying position, glaring at Anda. He squeaked indigently, and then lay back down.

The door chimed.

Anda picked up the small rat, placing him on a nearby desk beside the scrunchie she had used to tie up her hair. The lab rat happily used it as a pillow.

The door chimed again.

Spockfish went over to get it, but it whooshed open before she could even get halfway across the room.

"Have you seen a rat, about this-" Piki placed her fingertips against each other, trying to give a rough size. "-big with a brown patch on his left eye? Possibly chatting away about story ideas?" Spockfish gave her a curious look. "Maybe glared at you once or twice?" Anda pointed to the small creature on the desk. Piki marched -literally _marched_- over, grabbing the rat by the tail before placing him on her shoulder. The rat blinked almost groggily at her.

"Bad lab rat!" She admonished, wagging her finger at the cute little rat in emphasis. "I told you to stay at home! Amy would have taken good care of you and you know it!"

The rat squeaked something out, glaring again. Piki scoffed.

"She does not smother you! She smother's Minnie, but not you!"

Anda raised an eyebrow.

With a squeal of protest the rat got on it's hind legs, but was cut off.

"Steven Gregory McQueen." Piki said in a warning tone, and the rat quieted down, seeming to huff on his owners shoulder.

"Do we wanna know?" Asked Spockfish.

Piki looked over to them, smiling. "Anda, remember when I told you about my mutated ex-lab rat and current muse? The one that shares a cage with Minnie?"

Anda's eyebrow climbed higher. "I though you were kidding about that."

"Nope. Amy's a friend of the family, I found the tribble, and Stevie here…" She drifted off. "He just sorta made himself at home. Well, I'm gonna go and ask Mags if she's okay with an extra occupant in our room."

"Wait," Anda interrupted, and Piki froze. "I thought you said he could talk."

Piki shrugged, and Steve glared weakly at her. "He only squeaks when he's tired." She turned to leave, but was once again interrupted, this time by Spockfish.

"Why Gregory?"

Piki scoffed. "You of all people should know that, Miss Addicted-to-House. His full name is Steven Gregory House McQueen. House's rate, House, House's rat. See?"

"…Oh." Spockfish said smartly, and the door shut.

Suddenly, Sparky looked up, blinking rapidly, as though dazed. "Did I miss something?"

Anda and Spockfish nodded, and the latter of the two went into the bathroom to change.

{][][}

Kat stared.

Banbi stared.

Kat continued to stare.

Banbi also continued to stare.

This continued for a minute or two.

"Is that…?"

"Yup."

"Should we tell…?"

"Nope."

"When did the ship the leave port for the first time?"

"When we got on."

"So we really should…"

"Nah.

"This is…"

"…Weird?"

"Kind of."

"Just a bit."

Porthos barked at them, wagging his tail happily.

"So we found…?"

"Admiral Archer's prized beagle? Yup."

"Cool."

A pause in the conversation.

"Should we let him go?"

"I say we release him into Engineering. See what havok he wreaks."

Porthos barked in disagreement.

"I think that was a no, Kat."

"Damn."

"Beside's, we couldn't or else Scotty would be held up, holding up Piki and Mags, and holding up the destruction or Spuhura."

"And the beginning of Scota."

"Right. And Spirk, if we can."

Another pause.

"Pawn him off and Piki?"

"No, give him so Spockfish. She's our Scotty gal, after all."

"Right."

"Ow! He bit me!"

"What did you expect? He's been caught in the time-space continuum for months. You think he'd still be sociable?"

"What would you have done?"

"Not gone for the collar!"

"Oh yeah? You get him in Spockfish's room!"

"Okay. Here Porthos! C'mere boy!"

"Where did you get dog treats?"

"Found 'um under the bed earlier. Now hush!"

"Are you actually leading him out?"

"Yeah."

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"There. Problem solved."

{][][}

**A/N: Yes, this was mostly just filler. But hey, I could have this _whole thing _as a deleted scene, am I right?**

**Oh, and about the deleted scenes. Yes, there will be more. Between every actual chater there will be a deleted scene. They'll be short and mostly just there because I couldn't find a place it would fit in the prvious chapter that would make sense, but I like 'um. They're fun to write and will help me get rid of writer's block if I get it on this fic. Yes, that last part should have been a deleted scene, but it fit too perfectly with the theme of animals that had been built. And yes, I did just introduce you the the earlier mentions (in the capter 1 A/N) muse, Steve-wh-can't-stop-looking-at-the-pretty-plot-bunnies. XD**

**I think there was a point in there somewhere, but it was lost...**

**Anyway, I know I had more but now I can't remember it. PM me or drop a review if you're gonna answer the prompt please! Thanks.**

**~Piki :B**


	4. Deleted Scene: We're All Gonne Die

Amy was panicking.

No real surprise there. Wouldn't you if your friends rat, which you were suppose to take care of along with the tribble, was missing? But still, when she panicked it went into overdrive and far beyond. She was finally starting to calm down (sort of) when Pikeru called.

"Are you missing Stevie?"

Straight, quick, and to the point. Rarely did Piki _not_ beat around the bush.

Amy flushed a dark pink that was a similar color to her hair. Damn, was she psychic?

"Err…"

"So that's yes. Mags, don't bug him while he's asleep!" So they were already on the ship. In their rooms. Hopefully she didn't end up in Scotty's room. Or office. Or both. Then there would be a very angry Scot on the _Enterprise_ and a very drunk hacking genius. Neither would be good.

"Why do you ask?" Amy asked as coolly as she could. Minnie whined from her spot by the phone hook, nibbling on a nearby pencil.

"Oh, no reason. Just the fact that out little Steven snuck aboard with us in -whose was it?-" There was a pause and the sound of muted voices. "Anda's bag. It was Anda's. Just though you'd wanna know before you went into panic mode Alpha-Alpha-Z and destroy the house. Again."

Well crap.

Amy looked around Piki's bedroom nervously. It was torn apart. The large tribble/rat cage was open with the contents spilled on a garbage bag and books were strewn across the floor. Furniture was moved to the center of the room; secret passages opened. It was like a tsunami hit the room, and the rest of the house was no better.

"No. No, you didn't." Piki groaned, sensing what had been done because of the silence. "Please tell me you didn't get to my room."

Silence.

"Holy supernova! You destroyed my room looking for Steve?" Piki groaned melodramatically. "I'm going to kill you when I get home! You hear me Amanda Peterson? You will _DIE!_ And if one -just one- of my books are trashed, especially those antique ones from the eighteen hundreds, I will cut off your zarking hand! You will be-!" Piki's loud and upset voice was suddenly muffled, replaced by a new, slightly calmer one.

"You don't know me, but I'm Maggie. I'm bunking with Pikeru. I'm really sorry. She had coffee. A lot of coffee. It helped her plot. I'll make sure she doesn't send an assassin after you. Cool?" Amy blinked, moderately sure that her friend had ways of hiring an assassin and no one would ever know.

"Thanks. I should… start cleaning. Bye."

_Click._

The pink haired girl looked at Minnie despairingly. "We're all gonna die." She said, an unnerving sureness in her voice. "Well, you aren't. you're better than a plot bunny for that girl and, for some demented reason, she liked it when you bite her ear at night. I, on the other hand, am only her friend and will die a slow and painful death as my limbs are chopped off one by one." She sighed as the white and brown tribble hopped onto her shoulder.

"I really should start cleaning. And finding replacements for those books."


	5. Stage 2: The Lift Incident

It was a normal day in Engineering.

This by itself should have alerted Scotty to chaos, and as he tried to override the lift again, he actually felt rather dense for not predicting it earlier.

"One kiss and you're free, for the _Enterprise's_ sake!" A familiar costal American accent said exasperatedly.

Uhura beat her head up against the wall again.

Yes, Scotty really should have expected something like this to happen.

_Less than twenty minutes earlier…_

Pikeru was a master in stealth.

Well, maybe not stealth, but to the very least blending into a crowd without much trouble. Especially on a ship as big as the _Enterprise_.

She was in her new medical blues. Her short skirt and short sleeves only seemed to compliment her figure, achieved from years of sports and roughhousing with brother over six years older than her. She wore a small amount of make-up, lips a cherubic pink. No one would have placed her under the age of fifteen despite her lack of height. And that was just the way she liked it.

The few stares she received didn't even faze her. In fact, with each look her flirty smile (which she had perfected for occasions such as that) only grew. One individual, which she was moderately sure was Kevin Riley, gave a nervous smile back. She blushed slightly, looking away.

"_You have time for your love life later!_"Mags hissed in her ear through the bluetooth they had agreed was better and less noticeable than a comm. "_Now _focus_! You almost to the lift?"_

"Door's opening now."

Her eyes widened a fraction, but other than that, she gave to sign to her shuck. She straightened her uniform, taking a deep breath through her nose before walking in.

"Err… Hello, Sir."

Doctor McCoy raised an eyebrow at the teenager. "I ain't the Captain and I sure as aren't the First Officer."

Piki cleared her throat slightly, punching in Engineering to the control pad. "But you _are_ my senior officer." She said pointedly, looking just below her idols hazel eyes as she stuck out an awkward hand. "Nurse Patricia Hadley. I don't start in sickbay 'till tomorrow so I thought I'd get acquainted with the ship. I was headed down to engineering to see if my friend was on her lunch break yet." Not a complete lie. Good. She wasn't all that great at lying, but half-truths gave her no trouble.

McCoy nodded one eyebrow quirked in a slightly suspicious manner. "I don't mind the detour." He assured. Piki nodded, leaning against the wall coolly and ignoring Mags as she asked, calmly, who was in the lift with her.

The door finally opened on the all-too-familiar Engineering floor and Piki nodded her head at her superior respectfully. "_Adieu, Monsieur _McCoy."

McCoy gave her a brief "okay then" look as the lift doors closed, to which Piki gave him the absolutely biggest grin she could put on. "I'm French on my mother's-" The doors closed a fraction too early for her sentence to be completed. Damn. Aw well, the meaning was clear enough.

She turned just in time to see Scotty run into her.

The CEO was clearly in a hurry, and was rather flustered when he picked himself off the floor, offering a hand to Piki immediately.

"Ah-Ah'm sorry. Ah'm in a wee bit of a hurry and I dinnae see ye there. Are ye okay Miss…?" He trailed off.

"Oh, my name isn't important," the brunette said quickly, taking the Scot's hand and allowing him to pull her up. "I was just coming by to meet a friend." Scotty nodded, eyeing the lift. "Please, don't let me detain you. I can find Nellie on my own." Piki said with a disarming grin. The Engineer nodded, rushing off to the lift.

Piki grinned, pressing the button on her Bluetooth. "The red fox has left from his burrow. Repeat, the red fox has left from his burrow. Send in silver wolf when you are ready." she muttered in an overly secretive voice, punching in what she knew to be the code to Scotty's office, silently rolling her eyes. _Geniuses are always paranoid._

"_I'm sorry, can we talk more later? I just realized that I need to comm. my friend about something, and it's kinda private._" Piki smiled at the excuse, though quickly wiped it off her face as she sat down at Scotty's computer. She almost didn't hear her friend when she responded, still in the code they had picked. Because, really, how were you a good spy if you weren't speaking in code. "_I copy you Pink Angel. Silver wolf has entered the trap. Pulling up camera feeds now._" Piki facepalmed. It really was her own fault that she hadn't come up with code for that.

But she couldn't focus on her own stupid flubs at that moment. She had hacking to do, and she had roughly a thirty-second window before those lift doors opened and her prey left. There wasn't a second chance for this.

She counted down mentally as her fingers flew across the keyboard. She had, maybe, thirty seconds left. This wasn't looking good.

"_Pink Angel, you read? We're running out of time._" Mags slightly anxious voice came through quickly.

Piki repressed a heavy sigh, finally pulling through the system (damn, Scotty was paranoid. She hated to think of how he was with his personal stuff.) and bringing up what she needed. "Red Angel, I'm fully aware of that. Lift will stop in three, two, one…" She pressed the enter key with flourish, a grin lighting up her face. "Bang. We've got 'um. Trapped like rats. No offence to Steve if he heard that."

"_He says none taken. All right, their down. I'm assuming now is the time for those head sets and to take out the Bluetooth's._"

"Bingo." Piki said, grinning as she grabbed her head set -something borrowed from her older brother that he used for live play on his Xbox or something like that-, putting it on with practiced ease. This was the kind of thing a hacker like herself lived for.

{][][}

"He says none taken." Mags said cheekily, pulling up the video for the lift with one hand and petting Steve -who had taken residence on her shoulder- with the other. "Alright, their down. I'm assuming now is the time for those head sets and to take out the Bluetooth's."

"_Bingo_." And their connection was cut. They both had audio, only Mags had the video, and it was all good.

She winced as she put on her head set, her ears immediately meeting a class A Scott rant.

"_I programmed these lifts maself! There should be a single problem! Oh, when Ah get ma hand on Riley…_"

"_Calm down, Scotty. I'm sure we'll be out soon enough._" And that was Nyota. Forever calm, cool, and collected. She could see why Sparky had picked her; the girl needed to chill. Then again, Scotty was the perfect medicine for that. So, hopefully, Kat and Banbi would make Spuhura die however they pleased, and Scota could rein. Oh yes.

"Just relax you two. You'll be out soon, with proper cooperation." Mags said into the head set mic, and Scotty whipped around at the comm on the lift wall, glaring at it as though it were El Diablo himself.

"_Who are ye?_" He said angrily, already trying to override the lift's commands to stay put. "_How did ye stop this lift?_"

"_All in due time.__Possibly._" Piki responded, using her normal voice instead of one of her accents. Mags mentally facepalmed. If Scotty could identify her by her voice, they were _all_ screwed. "_Now we have one thing we want you to do._"

"_Aye?_"

"_Yes?_"

Scotty and Uhura said at the same time. Mags stretched lazily in her seat, putting on and air of nonchalance to anyone who might be listening, particularly the Vulcan First Officer and CSO who was on duty.

"Kiss."

"_Tha's all?_" Scotty said in a disbelieving tone.

"That's all."

"_No._" Uhura said firmly. "_I'm taken. I don't care if it gets us out of this lift faster, I'm not kissing him_." She pointed to Scotty for extra effect. "_No offence."_

"_None taken. No' the first tyme._" Mags raised an eyebrow, but said nothing more.

She could easily wait them out.

_Now…_

"No! I will no' kiss a lass tha's taken!" He said stubbornly, trying to ignore the growing blush on his cheeks at the mere _thought_ of kissing the dark haired goddess of a woman stuck in the lift with him as he furiously typed out commands for said lift. All were, with an equal level of furiousness, denied.

Nyota sighed heavily, standing up and grabbing the Scot by the shoulders and turning him around to where they were face to face. Scotty practically felt himself melt in her arms.

"If it's our way out of here and these girls are as stubborn as I think they are, we may as well get this over with." She said.

Scotty barely even heard the joyous phrases (which were by no means quiet) through the pounding of his own heart.

Nyota's kiss was deep and passionate, much more so than it should have been considering she was dating Spock, but Scotty couldn't bring himself to care. It was everything he'd hoped it would be and more and he eagerly kissed back, like a schoolboy enjoying his first kiss because of a game of spin-the-bottle. And Lord almighty it was amazing.

Neither registered when the lift began moving again, and they broke apart just before the doors whooshed open. Scotty cleared his throat awkwardly, eyes flickering to the mess. "Ah-Ah should g-go." He said, still breathing heavily and more than a bit dumbstruck.

Uhura nodded slightly, quickly straightening her uniform and walking out with the same poise and grace as always.

The only even mildly coherent thought that crossed Scotty's mind was simple and rather short, but it still kept him in the lift, staring after where Uhura had gone long after the doors closed.

_God, I wish she wasn't taken._

{][][}

"We got it!" Kat said triumphantly.

She had been watching the video feed coming from the lift for some time -almost and house, in fact- and she finally got what she and Banbi were looking for.

She had it all on a simple disk, and was currently cutting out everything except Uhura turning Scotty around and kissing him with a look that could almost be described as lust on her face.

Oh yes, it was that good.

"You do?" Banbi said, sounding almost surprised. "I honestly wasn't sure whether they'd pull it off."

"Same here. But they did. And we've got our evidence right here. I say to put it in that piss-ant portable dvd player we brought and put it just outside his door."

"Sounds good." Banbi said with a grin, grabbing said portable dvd player and snatching the disk from Kat's hand.

"I'll take the note then?" The younger of the two asked with a quirked eyebrow that slightly dimmed the effects of her Cheshire grin.

Banbi nodded. "Of course, as long as I get to drop it off."

"Of course." Kat replied, and grabbed a small scrap of paper floating about and a pen. Her message was scribbled and quick, and hopefully no one would be able to identify her handwriting.

_We think you should see this. Signed, two concerned friends of sorts._

Yes, incredibly quick.

She stuck the note quickly on the player, and Banbi walked off happily.

Neither could wait for the aftermath of this. They may have been killing on relationship, but they were giving two other's a chance to blossom. Especially with a little push from your local "friendly" Fangirl.

{][][}

Anda is gone. Off to go and try and leave love notes signed by Chekov for Sulu in various places. True, it only seemed to freak the helmsmen out more, but she would continue trying, damnit!

So Spockfish and Sparky were left alone, with nothing but their thoughts and scheming… Yes, very fun indeed.

There was a sudden knocking at the door.

Sparky sat up on her bed, quickly going to the door and opening it without a second thought.

"Err… Hello?"

Sparky's eyes widened at the unexpected guest. Bronze-blond hair, wide and innocent grass green eyes staring back at her.

_Holy Trek…_

It was Chekov.

In all his amazingly how glory, wearing black slacks a skin-tight black shirt that showed off his abs, it was Chekov.

Sparky blinked, trying to calm her racing heart as she stared into the emerald orbs. "I-I… Who are you?" She said, feigning innocence.

Chekov cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm Pavel Chekov. I vas in zee gym vith a friend. I found zis zhere." He pulled out a small hardback book, the cover still on. It appeared to be a translated Russian novel, handing it to the younger girl. "Eet said eet belonged to an "Anda" DiNozzo. I looked up zee last name in zee computer and eet gave me zis room."

A rather large grin made its way across Sparky's face. "Well, thanks Pavel. I'll be sure to give it to 'er." She held out a hand. "I'm Elizabeth Haversham, but my friends call me Lizzy." She said in her familiar slight Southern drawl. The Russian whiz kid blushed slightly.

"Eet ees… Nice to meet zou." Chekov said, taking the slender hand firmly in his own. Sparky's smile grew a bit wider. It was like being back home with Neal, only Chekov was closer to her age and a bit less charming. And he wasn't mourning a dead girlfriend, but that was beside the point…

"I guess I'll se ya later then, right?" She asked, and a slight pink spread across Chekov's cheeks.

"Of course." He said with a nod, and walked off. Sparky's smile shrunk as she watched the bronze curls turning around a corner, out of sight.

As soon as she walked back in and closed the door Spockfish raised an eyebrow at her, an overly curious and gleeful look on her face. Sparky quickly sat down on her bed, tossing Anda's book on the desk with practiced control and hoped there would be questions as she forced a neutral look on her face.

Of course, it would not be so.

Spockfish raised an eyebrow. "Who was that?" She asked, her voice akin to that of a nosy younger sister despite the fact they were somewhat similar in age.

"Chekov," the elder said dismissively. "Returning a book of Anda's that he found."

"Uh-huh." The blond said in a disbelieving tone. "And Steve doesn't think Amy smothers him. What else happened?" Wonderful, she was pestering now. Might as say it, as little as there was to tell.

"He said it was nice to meet me and that he hoped to see me again." Sparky responded, leaving out the blush and quick, awkward exit.

Spockfish immediately glared at her from across the room. "He's. Mine."

"No, actually, he's Mags." Sparky replied, not getting the meaning.

"No, I mean he's _mine_."

"I… don't get you."

"I mean, if the whole Chulu thing doesn't work out for Anda, he's mine!"

"Oh... Wait-what?" Sparky said, the "WTH?" expression filling her face. "He just seemed like he's be a good friend!"

"Sure." Spockfish said, her glare intensifying. "He's mind though, and he falls for you I _will _borrow one of Piki's poisons."

Sparky raised her hands above her head in a submissive gesture. "Fine, dude. Jeeze." And with one last eye roll, the conversation was over.

{][][}

**A/N: Yay! Done! I think this is the shortest ammount of time it's taken for me to write and look over a chapter... :D Ya'll know the drill; reviwes are welcome, but crit is welcome more.**

**~Piki :B**


	6. Deleted Scene: Life is Good

Scotty was walking on freaking air.

It didn't matter that he'd just been forced to make a woman have an affair while she was dating the first officer of the ship whom outranked him. It didn't matter that he'd just been trapped in a lift for almost half an hour with no clue on who his captors were. He didn't even care that he had technically just cheated on his girlfriend waiting back in Scotland and that he was now likely going to die a slow, painful death, even though he was sure she'd been planning on cutting off the relationship within the month.

All that mattered was that he had just been kissed by the girl of his dreams.

So yes, he was on Cloud bloody 9, and no one was going to stop his ascent further into bliss.

For now, he would just go back to his office, subconsciously hope and pray he wouldn't be fired for the whole little affair, and play "Fields of Gold" on his (newly acquired) bagpipe's.

Life was good.

{][][}

**A/N: I had quite simple inspiration for this deleted scene, and I also have the same (well, similar) for the next.**

**I'll explain on the next one. Think brand names! ;)**


	7. Stage 3: The First Day at Work

Sparky was just a bit nervous.

She had just finished her first shift as Elizabeth Haversham, tom-boy born raised in Memphis and current "junior" communications officer. It hadn't been great, but to the very least she hadn't had to play a game of "what the hell does that means in English?" yet, though it would happen eventually, and that would not be fun. She decided to look up various alien dialects on her padd later.

She had also run into Chekov during her lunch break. They had chatted, though briefly, and had planned on meeting at rec. room seven once both of their shifts were over.

Hence, the nervousness.

Why? Because if Spockfish found out she would die a slow and likely painful death due to some poison that not even McCoy could figure out what it was. To say the least that would be… unpleasant.

But still, she went into the rec. room with a spring in her step and a smile on her face, eager to meet with the Russian whiz kid. She held and antique (even to her time) book behind her back. It had been published in the late eighteen-hundreds, its pale green cover worn and faded and the pages an odd shade of yellow. She couldn't for the life of her remember who she'd borrowed it from.

She walked over to a small corner table, getting a hot chocolate from a nearby replicator on her way. She placed her drink and book on the table, grinning. It would, to the very least, get her some brownie points with Chekov.

So, after waiting a minute or two for the bronze haired Ensign to come in, Sparky leaned back in her chair, taking a sip of hot chocolate and grabbing her book. She may as well get some reading done while she waited

"Err… Hello, Elizabeth?" Said an awkward Russian accent above her. Sparky peered over the books edge, raising an eyebrow at the genius.

"Hello, Pavel. I thought I said you could call me Liz?"

Chekov cleared his throat slightly, sitting across the table. "Right, Leez." He looked at the book in her hand curiously. "Zou like antique books?" He questioned. Sparky shrugged.

"Some. Its Russian short stories translated to English," she paused, seeing the spark that lit up in Chekov's eye and thinking of how Spocky was going to murder her later. "It was lent to me by my friend. Her name's Nellie." There. Problem solved. Sort of.

Chekov grinned widely. "Who ees zour favorite from vhat you've read?" He questioned eagerly.

"Alexander Poushkin." Sparky said with a grin, placing the Russian tales back on the table at last.

"He ees vone of my favorites!" Chekov responded, his huge grin spreading. "Vhat deed zou read by him?"

Sparky had a feeling they'd be good friends.

{][][}

"I was told that when a Southern gentlemen get's mad he gets a vocabulary like my mother's. Is that true?"

McCoy had been having a perfectly nice time in Sickbay. He was bored out of his mind with paperwork and had one patient so far (some accident prone kid from Engineering), but it was nice not to be in crisis mode considering the ship had just left her space dock a week ago.

And then Nurse something Hadley had opened her mouth into the quiet.

It didn't bother him that much, not really, but he had been enjoying the overall peace in his officer and was mildly annoyed about the way she leaned on the wall, her pose deceptively casual.

"Pardon?" He asked, one eyebrow raised at the French-American (by that he meant her mother was fully French while she was born and mostly raised in America, something he'd found out after checking the file) girl. Hadley grinned.

"Sorry, Sir. Question from out of the blue, but it's been bugging me." She paused, smirking just a bit wider. "Is it true?"

McCoy raised an eyebrow in such a way it would have done a Vulcan proud. "Define "like my mother's" and I'll answer for ya. And what did

I say about calling me sir?"

The teen snorted slightly. "Right. Sorry, _Doctor_. And my mother has a real foul mouth, like a sailor's you could say. Define enough for you?" The CMO's eyebrow only went higher. "Well?"

"Depends on who the "Southern gentlemen" in question is mad at. Like a certain Captain or green-blooded hobgoblin, for instance. In either of those cases it's a yes."

"Cool." The brown eyed girl said, straightening her already immaculate uniform. "Thanks, Doc." And with that, she snickered and left the CMO back to his quiet.

Bones didn't get anymore paperwork done until near the end of his shift.

{][][}

Uhura, if possible, was in an even worse mood then she had been the previous night.

Yes, she had just had the single best kiss ever, but that certainly didn't outweigh the cons of the situation.

First off, she had been trapped in the lift for a little under half an hour. By the time she had even gotten on the lift, she was pushing it for the lunch times (eleven to two something). By the time she was out, she was pretty much left with soup and vegan sandwiches that were prominently made of of the few foods she was allergic too. So, she ended up skipping lunch entirely because, really, replicator food never really came up to par in the "doesn't taste like cardboard" category unless it was Scotty that programmed the damn thing.

Speaking of Scotty, someone had also given Spock a copy -without sound, mind you- of the kiss. Just the kiss. So they had ended up splitting because it was "illogical" to continue the relationship if both parties weren't satisfied, which _obviously_ Nyota wasn't. Well, she had been, and it had been going great, thank you very much. Damn that video feed to hell.

And to top it all off with a freaking cherry on top? Her room was no longer letting her come in. Period. For some reason only an Engineer could explain her room was no longer taking her access code, as though it had been changed. Well that was just great.

After what had to be the fifth time trying her code, Uhura was twice as annoyed as she had been ten minutes before.

By the fifteenth, she was pissed off.

By the twentieth, she was just about ready to pull her hair out, but comfortable sleep be _damned_ if she had to call Scotty to fix the problem. She didn't care if she had to sleep in the rec. room!

"Those evenin' bells! Those evenin' bells! How many a tale their music tells!" An oddly Southern accented rang through the halls, its notes jovial and boisterous. It, in all honesty, grated on Uhura's bad mood.

The singer paused beside her, head tilted to one side. "Somethin' wrong, ma'am?" She asked, though the answer was quite clear considering Uhura had, only moment earlier, punched the metal door full force.

"Just can't get my door to open." Uhura said through gritted teeth.

"Mind if I try? I've got a friend who…" She trailed off awkwardly. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure I can open it." the dark haired woman waved her hand at the door in a "be my guest" motion, and the girl grinned. She looked oddly familiar…

After a minute or two of the teen putting in rapid codes (to no avail, obviously), Uhura made the connection.

"You're the girl who delivered that translation thing to me." The linguist said suddenly, startling, the teen out of her intense revere.

"Oot ykrapS m'I.(1)" She offered in complete gibberish. "Em dnatsrednu nac uoy taht ton.(2)" And the door whooshed open.

"Done!" The fair skinned girl said with a grin, and Uhura blinked as she walked off, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened before walking into her room.

{][][}

"We did it!" Kat said excitedly, rushing into her shared room. It wasn't really like her, but the news she had was really, _really_ good.

Banbi looked up from her padd (which was rather boring, considering it was paperwork Kirk was suppose to be doing, but it seemed she was a yeoman with a different uniform), her face showing Vulcan-like curiosity. "Did what?" Because, really, there were still quite a few options for that. For all she knew Kat was talking about making out with some random sexy officer, though why "we" would be at the beginning of that she didn't know…

Kat's grin grew ever wider as she plopped down on her bed. "Spock and Uhura broke up. "Kate Hatter" was spending her first day as science officer in the botany labs, something about there not being enough people over there I guess. Anyway, someone was talking about how Uhura was in a bad mood and I questioned. Spock broke up with her for "reasons unknown"!" Her words became more jumbled as she went on, but to the very least it was still understandable. Banbi grinned at her roommate.

"Really? "Reasons unknown"? Did you give them a speculated?" Banbi asked curiously.

"I said I'd heard from a friend of a friend that Scotty had a crush on Uhura, but I didn't know if that had anything to do with it. The rumor mill is having a ball with it." She rolled her eyes. "Idiots."

"You sound like Piki." She paused. "When she's in her "everybody lies and everyone but a few choice people are idiots" mood anyway." Kat nodded, still grinning and half ignoring what was being said.

"How was your first day anyway?" Banbi shrugged.

"Piki made my alias Naomi Burns. I kept getting "you don't _look_ like a Naomi" comments all. Freaking. Day." She went back to her padd of Kirk's paperwork, face straight again. "So annoying. Oh, and Kirk's my boss. Well, he's everyone's boss, but I'm a yeoman now and I just get a cool uniform so I'm doing his paperwork for him. Easiest signature to forge. Ever." She scoffed slightly, her lips twitching in a grin.

"Oh. Sorry, I guess. Hope Kirk isn't as much of a womanizer as his fan reputation says or else he's gonna end up being killed." She didn't specify by who or what.

"Yup." Banbi said in agreement, signing off on yet another form, deciding that the next five would be shipped off to the person who actually should have been doing the damn paperwork.

Kat brought out her own padd, trying to fine out what type of plant "Gertrude" (as Sulu had dubbed her) was just for the heck of it.

{][][}

"I need some guy advice."

And had had a long day. Like, a really long day. No breaks, no lunch hour, just pure work trying to fix some shuttle, which really should have been an Engineers job but, apparently, had been passed off to the figuratively nearest Ensign, which had been her at the time. By the time she was back in her room she was oil-like-substance stained (because, really, there wasn't oil in the future), tired, hungry, and ready to punch someone because of the idiot she'd had to work with.

Talking to Spockfish really wasn't what she wanted to do.

"Can it wait until later? Or better yet, tomorrow?" Spocky pouted, and Anda let out a small, long suffering sigh. "Fine. What do you need to know?"

"Well, there's this guy I like here on the _Enterprise_-"

"Chekov?" Anda questioned wearily. Really, this could go a lot faster if the point was just gotten to.

"No!" Spocky replied, as though shocked at the very idea. Anda gave her a disbelieving look. "Okay, yes. Anyway, how can I get him to like me?"

Anda tutted softly, going to her bag and taking out some sleepwear that was certainly _not_ Starfleet issue. "Talk to him, read up on Russian literature an poetry, maybe take up fencing. Mostly talk to him. And whatever you do, _don't flirt_. It's a turn-off to any guy that isn't Jim Kirk." She nodded at her own advice, stripping out of her (admittedly uncomfortable) yellow shirt. To the very least she had beta shift the next day, which gave her quite a bit of time to herself. And time to _sleep in_. That would be nice…

"Oh. Cool. Anything else?"

Anda had the uncontrollable urge to facepalm as she _nearly_ walked into the bathroom.

"Not that I can think of. Now let me shower in peace or I _swear_ I will go down to the armory, grab a phaser, and _shoot you while it's on kill_!" She growled, her bad mood worsening by the second. She needed a sonic shower, a good book, and to snuggle up with a fluffy dog. Or a bottle of McCoy's Romulan Ale, she wasn't that picky at the moment.

You could almost hear a door slamming when the door whooshed shut behind her, and Spockfish (wisely) decided to keep her trap shut and just talk with Mags in the morning.

{][][}

Rec. room fourteen was abuzz with life. People playing tri-d chess and pool, with one person at the "old fashioned" baby grand piano at the center.

Mags loved it.

Steve hated it.

"Why can't we just go?" The ex-lab rat complained from her shoulder, and Mags shot him a brief glare.

"I though we agreed to no talking in public." She hissed, not wanting to look like a complete crazy person.

"Not like anyone can hear me over this noise!" Steve complained, huffing slightly.

"You could have easily stayed in the room!" Mags said pointedly, walking over to a pool table in hopes of hustling people out of a credit or two.

"No I couldn't have! Her Royal Highness said I wasn't allowed by myself after the last time I chewed through one of her antique books. And in my defense, it smelled like carrots!" Mags gave him a quick weirded out look. "I like carrots."

"Fifty credits say you can't beat me in a game of pool." Said a male voice behind them both, sounding cocky, Mags turned to see the ever-so-smug face of her Captain. She smirked in return, not about to be intimidated (or sent to Bones because of talking to a rat like he was a person).

"Bet you my friend's rat that I can." Steve slapped her ear with his tail indignantly. Kirk rolled his eyes.

"Deal."

Several pool games, a lot of betting and tail whacks, and three hundred credits bet that Kirk would be the victor later, Mags was grinning triumphantly as she collected her loot.

Kirk grinned at her suavely. "Nice games, Miss Navii. I have to admit, I have no clue how you made that last shot." He said, looking below Maggie's eyes, but not quite at her chest. Steve, probably. He's been eyeing the rat through all of their games.

"You don't play a bad game yourself, Cap'n." Mags replied pleasantly, making her way for the door. "And as much as I hate to play and run, I promised a friend I'd meet them back at the room." Which was actually the truth, too. She _had_ promised Piki she'd be there when she got back so they could scheme. "You know what time the last shift at Sickbay ends or ended, whichever it was." She sort of questioned. Kirk almost, _almost, _gave a long suffering sigh at the mention of the place.

"It either ends in five minutes, or it ended five minutes ago." He said helpfully. Because, really, he had to keep track of his best friend.

"Thank you so much." Mags replied in a half sarcastic tone, turning and making her way for the door.

"Oh, and isn't Navii a character in some old video game*?" The Captain questioned just before she made it out of earshot.

Mags clenched her fist at her side, and Steve gripped her shirt for dear life because he knew she'd be walking at a faster pace.

She was going to kill Piki for that later.

"How didn't I notice?" She muttered, eye twitched as she walked out the door.

{][][}

**1. I'm Sparky too.**  
**2. Not that you can understand this.**

***Navii, from Legend of Zelda. I just now recognised the reference, mostly because I recently played Ocarina of Time. Mags, I'm sorry for making your last name after the annoying fairy. Can't be changed though. Sorry.**

**A/N: Tee hee. I like this chapter! It took a while(because I haven't had as much writing time as usual), but it is DONE! And I've already got your next deleted scene! Which I must say I enjoyed writing far more than I should have. And, and for thoes of you who caught the Zelda reference that not even the author recognised, kudos to you! *gives e-cookie***


	8. Deleted Scene: Life is Crap

**A/N: Go bck and read "Life is Good" before this, mostly for a humor factor.**

{][][}

Chekov was a persistent little pain when he wanted to be.

It was a fact Sulu had come to know well in their three odd years of friendship. Whenever something bothered the young Russian, he pursued it, trying to figure it out better than the object of his obsession knew itself. Sulu had never been the object of obsession before, and just now realized how truly annoying it was.

"I am not avoiding you!" He shouted, making his way out of the gym.

"Yes! Zou are!" Chekov replied heatedly. "Vhy?" There's a brief look of hurt that flickers on the young face, one that practically screams "what did I do to you?", but Sulu doesn't see it, instead tossing his foil (which was found in his room) at the general direction of the rack.

"Like I said, I'm not avoiding you, so you haven't done anything!" He replied. _Other than confessing your love to me in that damn note in the book, making this _so_ awkward and I don't want to tell you no and risk this awesome friendship. _Sulu added mentally, storming out of the room, leaving a despondent Chekov in his wake. Sulu muttered one thing as he got on his lift, fully prepared to vent to his empty room.

"Life is crap."


	9. Stage 4: On the Trail

**A/N: this chapter is dedicated to Sparky, since it's her birthday today. Hope you like your present!**

{][][}

Kirk was freaking confused.

There had been many strange happening going on in the past few days. The _Enterprise_ had left the space docks for the first time a week before, and then everything seemed to start going... Funky.

First, it had been the gifts. As it turned out, it hadn't just been he and Bones that were affected; it was the whole bridge crew. The gifts had ranged from anything to condoms to a playing of the original cartoon Alice in Wonderland on one whole wall of Spock's room (the only reason Kirk knew about that was because he'd been the one to fix it).

Then Porthos had re-appeared, which was odd in itself because the dog hadn't just re-appeared, Scotty's door had been opened and the dog had been let loose to wreak havok on the Engineer while he took his lunch break.

Which brought up the fact that Scotty hadn't even had a lunch break or Uhura for that matter. Why? Because someone had stopped their lift and released them half an hour later for reasons unknown. Kirk hadn't seen that particular vid yet, and honestly wasn't sure if he should.

Then, even after all that, there was one more weird thing. Like, really, _really_ weird.

Spock and Uhura had broken up.

No, seriously. They'd split up. No one knew how or why (though there were of course rumors ranging anywhere from Spock being "emotionally compromised" to Uhura cheating on him with Scotty), but it had happened, and the universe hadn't ended or blown up yet. Although the Ambassador, when Jim told him, had said that he and Uhura hadn't even been involved. Ever. Which was interesting, but not really relevant.

So yes, a lot of weird crap was happening on the _Enterprise_. And, as far as his research could tell, there were no common-

"There we go!" Kirk exclaimed loudly, startling his knew yeoman on her second day as she handed him the padd's he'd passed off to her the previous day.

As it turned out, there had been a few crewmembers -seven in fact- who had "missed" the original shuttle's to their wonderful ship, and had come the exact day the gifts had turned up. The names of those on the shuttle were as follows: Patricia Hadley, Elizabeth Haversham, Nellie Reef, Addison DiNozzo, Kate Hatter, Naomi Burns, Margret Navii. Kirk looked up briefly to his yeoman. Wasn't her last name Burns?

"If that will be all sir?" Asked Burns, keeping an air of professionalism as she kept her eyes locked on the wall. Kirk really would have to ask her to stop that eventually.

Kirk nodded, giving a dismissive wave. The woman left without a word, letting the door shut behind her.

{][][}

"You okay Pavel? Ya seem kinda… down." Elizabeth said, putting down her padd. The Russian looked up, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

"Eet's… Eet's nozing." He said quietly, avoiding her gaze.

The (slightly) younger girl raised an eyebrow, and walked off. Chekov groaned loudly, hitting his head on the table. He was going to end up shooting himself with a phaser. Whether it was set on stun or kill depended on depended on if he talked to Elizabeth again.

The sound of a glass hitting the table met his ears, and he silently looked up.

"Stop sulking and tell me what happened _dorogoi*_." She said pointedly, pushing the glass of herbal tea closer to the teenager, genuinely interested in what was going on.

_In the way a friend would be,_ Chekov reminded himself. "I told zou Elizabeth, eet's nozing." He said, pushing the tea away, even if it did smell good.

Elizabeth pushed the tea back at him. "And I'm telling you, Pav, that's a bunch of crap. Now what's wrong?" She questioned, thickening her Southern drawl as she pushed the tea back again. "And I told you my friends call me Liz." She poked him gently.

Chekov smiled slightly, coming out of his (admittedly) sulky mood, taking the tea. "I like _kiitsu*_ better. Easier to remember." He chuckled, taking a sip of the tea. The flavors of honey and lemon met his tongue, and he smiled into the glass. "Sulu's been avoiding me." He said quietly, hoping she hadn't heard and would just let it go. Though, even though he'd only known her for a few days, he knew she wouldn't.

A flicker of rage came and went through dark brown eyes as she placed her hand on Chekov's shoulder across the table. "I have a friend in medical," she started, slowly, as though tasting the idea. "I could… ask her for… something, if you want." she grinned in a slightly evil manner, and had Pavel been standing he probably would have taken a step or two back.

"Zou… don't need to." He replied in the same slow tone.

"But you want me to." Elizabeth replied pointedly. "It's settled, I'll call my friend in medical." She scowled. "And I'll kill Anda while I'm at it too." Se muttered, almost too quiet to hear.

"Vhat?"

"Nothing, _dorogoi_!"

"Of course, _kiitsu_."

She smiled, walking around the table and giving him a (mildly awkward, but not really) one-armed hug. "This is gonna be fun." She whispered, her breath grazing his ear. Chekov shivered, watching her walk off, his eyes unwillingly drawn to her mini-skirt by his raging teenage hormones.

"Zou just met her!" He whispered to himself, hitting his head on his chair. "Sheet."

{][][}

"_Meet me in rec. room eigh'. I think we have some things tha' -uhh- need ta get cleared up."_

As soon as Uhura heard the message in an all-too-familiar Scottish brogue she had been intrigued. Yes, they had a few… things that needed sorting out, but did it really have to be so soon? Really?

Still, she went to rec. room eight (near empty) and walked over to the CEO, her face blank. Scotty was at a table, a glass of amber liquid in his hand. He smiled nervously at her over the rim of the shot. "Err… Hello, Miss Uhura." He said, downing the shot of liquid courage known as whisky.

Uhura sat down in the seat beside him, one eyebrow raised. "Yes, Scotty?" She questioned, eyeing the bottle of whisky on the table, wondering how many shots were missing.

"Ah-Ah I was jus' wonderin'…" He trailed off, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Durin'- durin' tha' kiss… did ye feel… anything'?" He looked up, biting his lip as he poured himself another shot, downing it in less than a second. Uhura stiffened.

How did you respond to that?

Honestly, she had just broken up, she'd had a horrible day after It happened, and now she was asking her if she'd "felt anything"? Granted, she had, best kiss ever, but she still didn't know how to answer. Seriously, she didn't want Scotty to be the re-bound, especially considering how sweet he could be. It would just hurt and cause more doubt when and if (the if coming from the "if they started dating") broke up. She didn't want to do that to him.

But it had been a _really_ good kiss. A lot better than any time she'd kissed Spock, and there had been _sparks_.

"Something, yeah." That was safe, right? Not a good or bad thing, just a something. That worked, right?

"Oh… Okay then." He said awkwardly, getting up and leaving without a word.

Uhura vaguely wondered if she should have mentioned the sparks.

{][][}

Spock wasn't sure what to think of it. He didn't even have a response.

"Your Captain is in love with you." Said the science officer at his door. "Just though you would want to know."

He stares, both eyebrows up to his hairline, as the girl leaves.

Well…

That was…

He can't even think after that news. It doesn't matter if it may or may not be true, even someone going off a rumor was, well, mind-boggling.

So he walks back into his room, and goes into a deep meditation. Because, really, what else is there to do other than confront Kirk himself? And not even Spock was going to do that, especially not without sufficient data.

So he meditates. He thinks on this possibly true knowledge. Most importantly, he tried to keep his head clear during this contemplation.

{][][}

"I do not like this ship, I do not _not_ like it, I'm only doing this because it's funny." Kat glared at her roommate briefly. "You ruined my Alice quote idea."

Banbi waved dismissively. "I know, and I'm sorry. You can keep up the Alice thing the next time you see him." She paused, signing off on another forum (which Kirk pawned off on her. Again) with a roll of the eyes. "The Captain's on to us, by the by."

Kat stopped dead in the awkward position of taking off her science blues, her head covered and arms stretched above her head. "Jim's what?" She questioned, and continued undressing on her way to the bathroom. She's down to her underclothes in the bathroom by the time Banbi answers.

"Jimmy's on to us. Connected the dots with the gifts and us getting on the _Enterprise_. Kept giving me suspicious looks through my whole shift." she signed off on another form just as the sonic showers got going.

"Don't tell Piki!" Kat called over the noise pointedly. "She'll be crushed to know her hacking skills failed us!"

The older girl nodded despite the fact Kat couldn't see her, signing off on letting Scotty re-program the replicators, She didn't even read the report, just saw "Scotty", "re-program" and " all replicators" and assumed that there would be some very tasty sandwiches in the future of the crew. Really, if Kirk hadn't wanted it signed, he should have read it himself. But he hadn't, so it was up to her judgment. If Kirk didn't like it, he could always ship her back to Earth. Not a good prospect, but it was always an option for the Captain.

It wasn't long before Kat came out, a nightgown that seemed to be driving her crazy (much like the mini-skirt) dragging on the floor behind her.

"That's the one thing I don't like about the _Enterprise_ now that Spuhura's gone." She muttered, plopping into bed unceremoniously.

"What?" Asked Banbi, having not heard.

"The sonic showers." Kat clarified. Or, she would have clarified if Banbi had heard the original statement.

The yeoman just shrugged it off, going back to her (_Kirk's_) paperwork.

{][][}

Sparky was in a rather good mood as she walked back to her room. She'd called of Piki for a couple Vicodin (they still had it in the future), saying it was for a friend she'd made on the ship with a headache and a sprained ankle. Piki, quite obviously, didn't believe, her, but gave her the pills anyway, mostly out of morbid curiosity for what she would do with it. So Sparky did what anyone would do with the Vicodin… She spiked Sulu's coffee. He'd be loopy for the rest of the day, possibly hallucinate, and definitely be high on the job. She just wished she could watch.

Even better, Anda was on beta shift, so she wouldn't know that Sparky had messed with her charge (they weren't even really focusing on their charges; just general havok).

The only thing that could dampen her mood was what she walked into her room to.

Spockfish was waiting, glaring at the door with a taser in hand. Where she'd gotten the taser, Sparky didn't want to know, though she had an idea considering Spocky was their thief, and what she was planning on doing with it was an even worse concept.

"Don't," Spocky growled. "Pursue. Chekov." Sparky rolled her eyes.

"I'm not. I am, however, helping him get revenge on Sulu for what Anda's messed up." She walked over to her suitcase - her good mood evaporated - and looked around for something. "Have you seen my cell? I need to call Neal." _To tell him I might not be coming home because my obsessed roommate is going to kill me in my sleep,_ she added mentally, her inner-tone sarcastic to a fault.

Spockfish grabbed said cell phone out of her pocket. "No flirting with Chekov and you get it back." She said, turning on the taser threateningly.

The phrase "don't tase me, bro" came to mind.

"I wasn't flirting with him." Sparky replied, shrugging.

"Oh, you were so flirting with him! I told you, he's _mine_."

"Uh, no, I wasn't. Now can I please have my phone back so I can call Neal?"

"Uh, yes, you were! You nearly kissed him for the _Enterprise's_ sake!" Spockfish argued, waving around the taser as if to illustrate her point.

Sparky sighed. "Fine, I won't flirt with him. Can I have my damn phone?" She asked, resisting the urge to snatch it from the (slightly) younger teen's hand.

Spockfish tossed it over, still glaring.

Sparky rolled her eyes, pressing speed dial two.

"Hey Neal! I didn't call while you were at work, did I?"

{][][}

Anda never realized how well she got along with Mags until that moment.

They were both in one of the more popular rec. rooms, each with a non-alcoholic drink of some sort in their hand, pointing out the bridge crew and the hot guys, rating on a scale from Chekov -being lowest but still cute- to Spock - which was, of course, the highest.

"Oh, he's a Scotty." Mags said, tilting her head in the direction of some yellow shirt playing pool. "Not bad, just not good." Anda nodded in agreement, looking in the same general direction.

"What about his friend?" She asked, noting the blue-shirt beside him. "I'd say he's at least a Sulu."

"Meh, I'd give him more of a McCoy, wouldn't you?"

"I believe that question was already answered by my rating him Sulu."

"Point."

They really were having fun. Unwinding after a long-ish day, getting to know another of the fangirls they hadn't been particularly acquainted with.

And they were rather similar in their taste in guys and drinks.

"Oh, he's somewhere between Kirk and Sulu." Mags said eagerly, winking at a red shirt that passed. Anda laughed.

"Don't tell Piki that; I think that was Riley."

"No way!" Mags said in a disbelieving tone. "_That_ was Riley? He's hot in this universe!" She gaped as the engineer walked past them, eyes wide in astonishment.

"Yup, that was Riley. I worked with him briefly yesterday. Not that long, but I can pick him out in a crowd." She shrugged, looking around to see someone she'd never thought she'd see, in a crowded rec. room of all places!

"Oh my gosh, it's Spock!" She said, out right staring t the half-Vulcan. He was leaning against a wall, a small box of chocolate (literal _chocolate_) in his hand, seemingly looking around for someone.

"Oh my God!" Mags said, looking even more shocked. "And we get to see him get drunk!"

Anda smiled. "My thoughts exactly."

{][][}

*Dorogoi - Russian for darling.  
Kiitsu - Russian for kitten or cat

**A/N: Oh no! Kirk's onto our trail! o_O NOOOO!**

**Anyway, I think this is my favorite chapter yet! Probably because it's a birthday present...**

**Which remindes me, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPARKY!**

**~Piki :B**


End file.
